Author: emmalhy

How I hate every encounter —
And every goodbye:
Stepping into each others’ lives
For nothing
At all,
And depart without a hint —
So light and soft and safe and sound
As if nothing has ever happened.

But a slide of life is taken,
Leaving the broken heart.

Take a dose of memory,
With a sip of nostalgia,
Four times a day,
Then set off to the Brave New World.

ALERT.
Stay away
From every
Devotion
Engagement
Thoughts
And
Comments.

Be deep down to anything
Never again.

Edited on 31 July 2019.
Thoughts upon leaving my favourite team ever and moving on to a new challenge — and the biggest mistake ever made.

A reminiscence of youth:
Highlighters of every colour, single-lined paper, messily stickered Casio FX50FH, lyrics-filled handbook, chalk, dates, hidden cell phones, pilot super grips, graveyard next door, icy-cold air in the noisy library, free lessons, red buttons on the collar, stupid conversations;

“These fragments I shores against my ruins”.

Every night and day,
In our dreams,
Always remembered,
Never forgotten.

MYL.

Edited on 31 July 2019.
In search of youth and remembrance of our lost friend Jodi.

Another year come and gone.
A new year
Fresh as it should be,
Dull as it meant to be.

Moments of mine
Can never be wrapped in a few words;
When everyone
Is putting up
A grand stage play,
For heart and more hearts,
For attention and more attentions.

Life is but a serious thing to ever be talked about.
How I hate every encounter,
Wounding every bit of the already hollow soul,
Tearing the flesh —
Piece by piece
Until there is nothing.

(And it secretly conceal as if it is healed.)

Cherish is the word
Often be used
And never be understood.

Every hello and goodbye
Like the flapping of the wings,
So light
And heavy,
Too transient and fragile
To be taken care of.

Edited on 31 July 2019.

Somehow it is how things work.

You are given everything
When life is given to you:

Born for Love, and
Born to love;
With all the things you love,
Family, friends, Grandpa, Grandma,
Daddy, Mommy, Brothers, Sisters,
And eventually
A life changing encounter
That worths your love for the whole life.

Then things are taken away,
Bit by bit
In a form torture,
Small things —
Too small to even be realized
Until it is too late
Until it is too much.

Time takes the lead,
Counting by seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years;
Then your loved ones:
The Grannies, Friends, Mommy, Daddy,
And perhaps so as the love of your life,
Losing in the tide,
in the current too strong to hold on to anything,
Drifting away.

And then your laughters, angers, tears and smiles follow,
And when you have nothing more to lose,
They retrieve your hollow useless body,

And return to the earth,
Turning into ashes.

Edited on 31 July 2019.
Thoughts upon saying farewell to my Grandpa (Yea Yea).

How long is forever?
A second, or ten;

Be together forever,
Or be gone forever.

Some moments lasts longer than the others,
Some scars do stay forever,
Or a momentum conserved forever and ever.

By the conservation of momentum.

Edited on 31 July 2019.

I will remember
The autumn air
The silent corridor
The hole in the ceiling
The not-in-service lift
The squeezing sound of the toilet door
The laughters of the off-duty nurses
On the day when we lost a precious fragment
Of our helplessly poor lives

The sob
The moan
The weep
And screams —
Distraught

Seconds
Turns into minute
And hour —

The first mosquito
On the autumn night

A buzz lasts forever
A star to miss forevermore.

Edited on 31 July 2019.
In remembrance of our dear friend Jodi.

Every day and night since the night n August,
Sleepless and tired and exhausted,
In the name of depression and screams
Within the crawling soul under my skin.

When life before you is so unsure —
Fragile
And helpless,

What are to be expected from the road ahead —

A dream
Or a star
Or a wish come true?

Crying by the dawn,
Wandering by the dusk,
Screaming in the morning,
Moaning by the night.

Help.
Help.
Help.

The screams in the chamber,
A room within the room.

In front of the door
Are countless helpless
And fragile souls
Never to be rescued,
With the guardian
Offering nothing but a cold stare
And see them die.

Edited on 31 July 2019.

A part of me dies every day.

Every day and night,
Some parts of my heart start to ache,
To stretch and to tear
Until the eyes are filled with the salted water.

How should it be told
And to who should it be told —
That there’s a hole inside
The hart of darkness?

Every empty moment
Haunts me:
The emptiness and silence and the drips of the rain
On the windows…

Edited on 31 July 2019.

(I hope)

This will be the last note of my life.
Starting from the day I am writing these down
My last words and wills —
Maybe no one would ever get to read it;
Or no one actually cares.

About the ownership and legacy,
I do not have anything to leave behind,
No property, assets or cash,
Just an empty brain full of thoughts,
With nothing but a trotting horse lamp
With fragments of my time
With the love of my life.

The forever here question to self:
Why do people grow?
If wrinkles are where the laughters have been,
A crinkly face should be what I deserve
For a happy life
Without sorrow and cries.

Once in awhile.

Life sucks — that’s what I thought.
Inevitable changes to life:
Fallen hair, broken legs,
Could the nails feel pain when they are cut?
What about the hair?

Perhaps these are just words
From a sensitive psycho
Wasting all her life on thoughts and feelings —
Who would bother to pay any attention?

No one.
Or no one but you.

Edited on 31 July 2019.